I got screwed over by a college student real bad yesterday.
Before we begin, this story pairs well with the track “Motorcrash” by the Sugarcubes.
I’m biking home on the bike path (this part is important) after teaching branding on a budget to my entrepreneurship class when suddenly, a no-clue college student on her phone walks right in front of me onto the bike path.
I catch her with enough time to see where she’s going so I try to swerve around her in the opposite direction of where she's heading.
But no...
Of course, this stupid sorority girl does the EXACT thing you shouldn’t do when you walk into traffic.
(No offense to Greek life in general, but I'm pretty mad right now so I'm going to stereotype for the sake of storytelling)
She STOPS.
As Bill Hicks would say, she froze, eyes wide "like a cow looks at an oncoming train," except the train in this situation wasn't coming back from this crash unscathed.
So I have to no choice but to grab my brakes as hard as I can.
Cue the slow-motion scene from the movie where my brakes screech against the metal of my wheels.
My bike grinds to a halt, turning into an untamed stallion that bucks me off the saddle and launches me over the handle bars five feet through the air.
I hit the ground and roll a few extra feet.
I lie there motionless.
This is not how my day was supposed to end. This is not how you should be rewarded for leaving the gas guzzler at home.
As I pick myself up I notice one of my earbuds is missing.
Somebody is asking if I’m ok.
I think I
hear a “I’m sorry…” from one ear, but I’m focused on the blood.
My green shirt is turning red and it's not even Christmas yet.
My elbows are scraped up with pieces of asphalt sticking
out of blue bruises.
My palms are missing the top layer of skin and it feels like a cheese grater sliced off the top of my right thumb nail.
If this sounds painful to you, keep in mind that
you’ve heard songs about heartbreak that were more painful to write.
A crowd has gathered and the nth person asks me if I’m ok.
“I’ll live,” I say, looking at the stigmata on my hands. More
than Jesus could say.
I stumble into the nearest college building and ask for a first aid kit. I wash my wounds in the nearest sink, the water turning red as the pain jolts like lighting into my palms.
Is this what the Sith feel like when they're shooting lightning from their hands?
I hope I remembered to clean the sink, because honestly I couldn't tell you. I was on my way to pick up my daughter from daycare so all I'm thinking about is making sure my wife knows she has to go get her. Hopefully they'll just
think some architecture students took Halloween a little too seriously when they come to class today.
But although I was wearing a helmet, I think I hit my head because I’m making the offer to enroll in Mix Finisher
Formula today even better.
After getting some feedback from you yesterday I’ve decided to create a self-paced, DIY package for those that don’t need the additional year of coaching from me inside the Insiders community.
And who would blame you...I can't even ride a bike right.
And because I’m not including my limited time in that package, I’m able to lower the price quite significantly.
That way it’s easier for you to enroll and finally understand the exact formula you need to go from rough recording to professional-sounding record.
This is the lowest price I can offer Mix Finisher Formula and if you're ready to instantly improve your mixes,
head on over here to enroll before the discount goes away tonight.
I hope you enjoy the rest of your Friday. I have band practice today so we'll see how that goes when you can't strum an acoustic or play barre
chords....
Cheers,
Björgvin