In the spirit of Yuletide, let me tell you a tale:

In the Icelandic highlands, there lives a family of 15, plus a cat.

The cat is a hellish black beast that eats children if they don't get new clothes for the holidays.

So in Iceland, there's a good incentive for upward social mobility because you need that moolah for merchandise if you want to keep your kid alive.

Don't curse the storyteller. I'm just telling it like it was told to me as a child. So you can imagine why I'm a dog person.

The parents are heinous trolls, warts and all. The mom, Grýla, is a grotesque hag who loves the taste of children she cooks in her giant cauldron. It's unclear whether the Cat and Grýla team up for this particular feast, and it's unknown who gets to eat first.

But the person who eats last is the deadbeat dad, Leppalúði, who is the quintessential role model for the lazy, good-for-nothing dad who sits in his man cave like a lazy bum, never contributing to even the easiest of children-hunting tasks.

And then there are the children.

Grýla birthed brothers 13 times, never siring a sister even once, her post-partum depression getting stronger each time.

117 pregnant months later, Grýla ended up with 13 exhausting boys she never bothered disciplining, letting her terror-spawn loose on the townspeople, leaving them to cause mischief and mayhem every holiday season.

In the old days, these Yule Lads would play tricks on people when the days were the shortest and darkness folded over the villages like a wicked veil. One by one, the lads would arrive off the mountain, setting their sights on shenanigans and skullduggery.

They had rare names that oddly described their most pleasurable prankster ways.

Like Gully-Gawk, who hides in gullies and waits for the perfect opportunity to steal milk from the cows. Or Door-Slammer, who loves nothing more than to steal down your chimney and slam every door on the way out, awakening the terrified yet freshly clothed children from their slumber.

This year, they've decided to wreak havoc on your home studios, causing music production mischief wherever they can.

But don't worry dear reader. Any naughtiness will be for naught! I am here to guard you against their threats and set your studio productions straight.

Just leave your shoe in the control room window and you'll get a gift from me every day that will help you thwart their tricks and make your music better.

Tomorrow, your first Yuletide trickster will arrive. What problem will he cause and what will you get to improve your music productions?

Wait and see, dear home studio holder. Wait and see.