Once upon a time, in an audio forum nestled away on one of the islands off the Continental Internet, there was a discussion about microphones.
The discussion started off easily enough, but the poor N00b did nay know what Pandora's box he was opening.
He asked, innocently, "Please sirs, pray tell what the BEST microphone for recording is?"
Everyone in the audio forum stopped scrolling and his question echoed off the canyons of the comment section, the word "Best" growing ever fainter by the millisecond.
Suddenly, the vinyl soundtrack one of the analog snobs was playing made a scratching sound and abruptly stopped.
The Audio Knight on his lunch break sighed and the Music Moderator rolled his eyes, but it was too late.
The Troll had awakened. An evil belly laugh filled the forum and the clickety-clackety sounds of insults were heard from afar.
The Troll hurled its comment onto the N00b's thread, "You can't make ANYTHING sound good unless you have AT LEAST a $5,000 mic!"
"But I don't have the money!" The N00b cried and the Troll snarled.
The Troll licked its lips in delight, scratched his wife-beater-wearing belly, and farted.
"Heh, Heh! Guess you just won't make it with your music if you don't have the expensive gear!"
"But, but...my songs are good..." the N00b exclaimed, defending himself.
"The songs are good?!?" The Troll guffawed and literally ROFLed. He stood on his microphone-clip-sized feet and his green belly the size of a subwoofer jiggled erratically.
"Your songs will still sound like music manure unless you get a REAL engineer to help you!"
During the hazing, the Music Moderator and Audio Knight were having a side-DM debating how to tackle the Troll back into the Dark Web it slimed out of...
